Friday 5 August 2011

Rockin' the Bay

7.29.11

Oakland

Goodmorning, San Fran. I wake up around 8:30 with Evan on van parking duty. We face a ticket if we don't move the van. I"m tired as hell, not happy to be up, but duty calls. We get in the van and drive for what seems like hours of precious sleepy time (actually 20 min) until we find a spot with a 1 hour meter. We park it. Evan gets coffee, I don't want it bacuase I want to believe that I can go home and go to bed, but I face reality and buy a cup. We walk back to Nathans for an hour so I can sit in the bathroom for 10. back to the street, we find a spot right in front of Nathans! back to the van, rep[ark, now I shower and lay back down and sleep for another hour.

I wake up to Nathan's roomy, we chat while she makes biscuits. Not cat biscuits, although my back is tight, the biscuits are oven style. Evan gets a burrito delivered to him by CB that looks like a little pouch of perfection. I leave to get some coffee and find this burrito's twin. But without meats. I am successful. I hit Taqueria and swallow the best burrito of tour yet. I run into Brandon and Nick, we get more coffee (coffee, coffee, coffee, all day all night, that's what tour is all about) at Philz. I ask for an Americano, my jam, my coffee drink. Everybody knows that.

Well, the cute smiley lady behind the counter frowns like I just told her that her crayon drawing of her favorite animal sucks. I turn to Brandon with a smile and then back to her and I'm all like "Ok, that was a weird look. Explain to me how coffee works here, I obviously missed something."
"Well, we just have drip here" and she Vana Whites towards the back wall, adorned with a hundred different coffee beans. "I like dark and chocolatey and earth and leather and strong" I seem to recall communicating somehow…

She recommends a bean lickety split and I green light that shit. Give it to me, I"m in your hands. She grinds and drips a single cup in a Blue Bell style fancy dripper doo and then she does something REAL funky. She puts a mint leaf in my coffee. I'm all twisted at this point. You don't play with a homie's coffee addiction like this. Is this a game? Am I a clown or some kind of tater tot out here? I need espresso, Sheila. I ain't comin in here to roll dice into a tea cup and play duck duck goose. I'm from Brooklyn, NY. Gorilla, Intelligensia, Gimme Coffee, Grumpy's, Stump Town, these playaz be out on my block, a stone's throw, they know me by name.

But I don't say a word, I'm wide open, teach me to sing Sheila, take me to Philz coffee school.

I get my cup and sip that mint leaf funk. Best cup of coffee ever. I went 'Special Agent Dale Cooper' on her.

We all walk back to Nathans to leave for Oakland. Evan spots a hole in the wall shop selling hand made Lucha Libre masks. I am curious, and then hooked. Evan comes out with his new mask and helps me find one of my own...

We roll up on Oakland and play Eli's. Yelp describes it as "more Divey than your average Dive Bar"
There's dogs and facial tattoos. Maybe even dogs with facial tattoos. Nice staff, door, bar, sound guy. good lil' show on the stage.
Our dear friend CRASH set up this show and took good care of us. we rock out for the 20th time or so since we left the east coast, and decide we want to chill at a bar and hang before calling it a night. Crash recommends a Tikki Bar. We tell the other bands our plans, they seem reluctant to go, being locals wearing all black and stuff. It was the perfect spot.
Crash buys us a "Scorpion Bowl" which is a porcelain volcano surrounded by a moat into which our Tikki bartender pours sweet fermented nectars and some mystery spirits and throws 6 straws in and maybe says good luck. We attach ourselves to this lost link to a greater archipelagic hangover and start sucking down the juices.
the other bands show up, and maybe 2 scorpion bowls later they leave, quietly assuring one or two of us in a whisper that this bar is whack and not a great place to hang.

They underestimate Ghastly City Sleep. In our current interation we are especially equipped to enjoy any situation, ESPECIALLY a tikki bar with scorpion bowls and a HULA GIRL ROBOT! she stands across the bar with a permanent distant smile that seems to stare off into another realm, topless, and her hips constantly just roll 'round and 'round in a hypnotic orbit. I'm laughing at her absurd awesomeness when the autor in me conjures up a fantastic photograph…

I say "I'm gonna get my Lucha Libre mask and take my shirt off and pose with that Hulabot."
Evan laughs. "That would be awesome. Too bad you won't."
"what!? of course I will."
"no, no you won't"
"what, you think I"m too embarrassed to take my shirt off and wear a lucha libber mask in a tikki bar filled with maybe 15 drunk peeps after I personally helped down 4 Scorpion Bowls?"
"It's not that I think its something you wouldn't do, I don't doubt you would. But you won't, not tonight, not here, not now."
I get up and run to the van, get both my mask AND his, and return with a shit eating grin. I'm taking him down with me!

Moments later, we have a most incredible portrait of the two of us with Hulabot. Just leavin' a slick with ZERO REGRET in my wake wherever I go. Thanks Evan, for not only pushing me to my ridiculous place, but for posing with me as well.

Crash, who I can only hope is sufficiently amused for the evening, graciously opens up her home to our circus and we crash :) happily on her floors.

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