Gettin' Mugged Suuhhhhhhkz

Ok, watch this video from Gothamist.
This is EXACTLY how it went down when I was mugged, as far as how they had me and the duration of time. Plus the punch to the head at the end. The only thing I was missing were all the kicks and the head-stomp finishing move.

I'm sorry, but when I see this video, my humanitarian feelings of opposition to the death penalty are severely compromised and I become engorged with passion and I fantasize about filling these criminal's mouths with my hands and ripping their jaws off of their faces with all of my concentrated rage. Lots of rage. I feel no compassion, I no longer feel sorry for them, I only wish to even the scores, and perhaps tip the scales in my favor to reward me for not being the original perpetrator.
Perhaps it was the veil of being glad to be alive and healthy after my attack that graced me with feelings of pity for my attackers. I don't know, it's tough. It's a very primitive, retarded feeling... very testosterone-driven.

Something I'm still tossin' around in my head, i guess. Age-old issue, age-old questions, no clear answers. Is there not enough love in the world to go around to get to everyone?

China censors Obama

{via NYT}
How childish and afraid are communists?
check out 0:09 when obama mentions "communists"
by 0:21 the censors have cut to some banal political commentary, MID-SPEECH, to cover up the part of the speech where he references the dreaded and long-expired dogmas of fascism and communism. the reporter is caught completely off guard!
How silly is it for a ruling party to display such childish, fearful tactics and expect respect from its citizens? Who, besides the silly Chinese communist party would worry so much about shielding its people from information for fear it might be taken seriously (see previous post)? Who has such little faith in her people (see previous post)?!!

no one is buying this!

Art Legal

The Contract Monitor
I ran into this website while researching artist's contracts.
Since I have begun negotiating contracts of my own, I find this website to be really interesting and helpful.
It's also quite disheartening, as a short investigation will reveal how vile most companies are in terms of fucking you over and trying to give you the least amount of compensation and credit as possible.
In most cases, they fancy more power than they need, just to see if they can get away with it. This includes contracts with illustrators to renown publications such as the New Yorker and Los Angeles Times!
As if it weren't tough enough to be an artist or illustrator without having to battle with your professional clients and conduits for BASIC rights to original work.
Click here to read a contract that "illustrates" how the New Yorker, an illustration-driven publication famous for it's commissioned artwork, has changed it's standard contract over the years to deal with web rights and everything that follows in a way that backs the artist into new corners.
The attitude of these contracts is gross.
you gotta fight for your right to party.

→→→Forward →→→

I would like to forward this poignant warning just in from Mrs. L Babcock :

"A critical - and radical - component of the bailout package proposed by the Bush administration has thus far failed to garner the serious attention of anyone in the press. Section 8 (which ironically reminds one of the popular name of the portion of the 1937 Housing Act that paved the way for subsidized affordable housing ) of this legislation is just a single sentence of thirty-two words, but it represents a significant consolidation of power and an abdication of oversight authority that's so flat-out astounding that it ought to set one's hair on fire. It reads, in its entirety:

Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency.

In short, the so-called "mother of all bailouts," which will transfer $700 billion taxpayer dollars to purchase the distressed assets of several failed financial institutions, will be conducted in a manner unchallengeable by courts and ungovernable by the People's duly sworn representatives. All decision-making power will be consolidated into the Executive Branch - who, we remind you, will have the incentive to act upon this privilege as quickly as possible, before they leave office. The measure will run up the budget deficit by a significant amount, with no guarantee of recouping the outlay, and no fundamental means of holding those who fail to do so accountable.

Is this starting to sound familiar? Robert Kuttner cuts through much of the gloss in an article in today's American Prospect:

The deal proposed by Paulson is nothing short of outrageous. It includes no oversight of his own closed-door operations. It merely gives congressional blessing and funding to what he has already been doing, ad hoc. He plans to retain Wall Street firms as advisors to decide just how to cut deals to value and mop up Wall Street's dubious paper. There are to be no limits on executive compensation for the firms that get relief, and no equity share for the government in exchange for this massive infusion of capital. Both Obama and McCain have opposed the provision denying any judicial review of decisions made by Paulson -- a provision that evokes the Bush administration's suspension of normal constitutional safeguards in its conduct of foreign policy and national security. [...]


The differences between this proposed bailout and the three closest historical equivalents are immense. When the Reconstruction Finance Corporation of the 1930s pumped a total of $35 billion into U.S. corporations and financial institutions, there was close government supervision and quid pro quos at every step of the way. Much of the time, the RFC became a preferred shareholder, and often appointed board members. The Home Owners Loan Corporation, which eventually refinanced one in five mortgage loans, did not operate to bail out banks but to save homeowners. And the Resolution Trust Corporation of the 1980s, created to mop up the damage of the first speculative mortgage meltdown, the S&L collapse, did not pump in money to rescue bad investments; it sorted out good assets from bad after the fact, and made sure to purge bad executives as well as bad loans. And all three of these historic cases of public recapitalization were done without suspending judicial review.

Kuttner's opposition here is perhaps the strongest language I've seen used, pushing back on this piece of legislation, in any publication of repute, and even here, Section 8 is not cited by name or by content. McClatchy Newspapers also alludes to Section 8 with concern, citing the "unfettered authority" that Paulson would be granted, and noting that the "law also would preclude court review of steps Paulson might take, something Joshua Rosner, managing director of economic researcher Graham Fisher & Co. in New York, said could be used to mask previous illegal activity." Jack Balkin also gives the matter the sort of attention it deserves on his blog, Balkinization.

But elsewhere, the conversation is muted. The debate over whether Congress is going to pass the Paulson bailout package, or pass the Paulson bailout package really hard seems to have boiled down to a discussion of time and concessions. The White House has made it clear that they want this package passed yesterday. Congressional Democrats seem to be of different minds on the matter, with some pushing back hard, and others content to demand a small dollop of turd polish to make the package seem more aesthetically pleasing, at which point, they'll likely roll over and pass the bill. Neither candidate, John McCain or Barack Obama, seem all that amenable toward the bailout, but neither have either demonstrated that they are willing to risk their candidacies to do much more than exploit the issue for electoral purposes.

Sunday morning came and went, with Paulson traipsing dutifully from studio to studio, facing nary a question on Section 8. Front page articles in the New York Times, Washington Post, and the Wall Street Journal detail the wranglings, but make no mention of this section of the legislation. On TV, cable news networks are stuck in the fog of the ongoing presidential campaign.

Throughout the coverage, one catches a whiff of what seems like substantive pushback on this power grab, but it largely amounts to a facsimile of journalistic diligence. Most note, in general terms, that the bailout represents a set of "broad powers" that will be granted to the Department of the Treasury. Yet the coverage offsets these concerns through the constant hyping of the White House's overall message of "urgency."

But one cannot overstate this: Section 8 is a singularly transformative sentence of economic policy. It transfers a significant amount of power to the Executive Branch, while walling off any avenue for oversight, and offering no guarantees in return. And if the Democrats end up content with winning a few slight concessions, they risk not putting a stop-payment on the real "blank check" - the one in which they allow the erosion of their own powers.

Over in the Senate, Christopher Dodd has proposed a bailout legislation of his own, which critically calls for "an oversight board that not only includes the chairman of the Federal Reserve and the SEC, but congressionally appointed, non-governmental officials" and would require the President to appoint an "independent inspector general to investigate the Treasury asset program." In Dodd's legislation, Section 8 is effectively stripped from the bill.

Nevertheless, the fact that Section 8 of the Paulson plan seems to strike few as a de facto dealbreaker can and should astound. The failure of Congress to hold the line on this point would be truly embarrassing. But if we make it through this week with nobody in the press specifically informing the public about the implications of this single sentence - in the middle of a complicated bill, in the middle of a complicated time - then right there, you have the single largest media failure of this year."

The Bush Administration is going out in a blaze of glory, eh?

Republicans - "Freedom of Choice is Different than Pro-Choice"

Republicans are up in arms defending Sarah Palin & family against Democrat's attacks on her private family business, namely her daughter, daughter's daughter daughter-daughter and ditter dotter.
Their line of defense is to argue in favor of choice, while making additional remarks to the tune of ♪♫ the government & others have no business telling a woman what they can/should be doing with her own life.
Sounds familiar, you foolz!!!!

I also get a kick out of why interviewees think Sarah is qualified!
"she's beautiful"
"she hunts"
"she makes americans feel like anyone can be president"

...what?! are you fucking serious!?
She likes this idea because she can feel more "on par" with the prez. Like, one of her friends got in therr. Like how Bush was a good ol' boy and didn't seem so "stuffy and inta-lekshul". It is this VERY distance, darlin', the distance between you and those who you deem "stuffy" and "over your head", that qualifies not only leadership, but the necessity for a feeble brain such as your own to be led. You're lucky I am not your president, or else I'd lead you and all of your friends right off a cliff. I am personally not a big leader person, and my politics are quite loopy and anarchistic. But I also fancy a good game, and in the game of contemporary politics,
I do not wish to share a nation with dimly lit brains who either wish to be president or like the idea of anyone being able to take office.

Our leaders were once talented, creative, noble and exceptional human beings. Scientists, Composers, Artists, Scholars, & Humanitarians once graced these halls (said in rambling old-man voice). Since when did being a filthy rich businessman, focused primarily on monetary self-expansion, replace attributes that really contribute to the magic and love that defines what it is to be human when considering our "leaders"?

I offer this explanation : Rednecks and Idiots reproduce very rapidly, because they are inferior and unintelligent. Thus, they have created a population that dominates the television viewing audience. Naturally, the broadcasting companies, in a fit of greed, respond by filling their broadcasts with rot to feed the hungry beasts. This further unifies the Rednecks and Idiots by giving them a national identity and common ground, which further perpetuates their growth. Now, they are a voting body, gullible and easily swayed by another breed of monster who is both more intelligent and evil - the political Right. Now cowboys, wealthy coke heads, and beauty pagent winners can be president.
= the American Dream
The Right, which in reality despises the Redneck/Idiot (Rediot) contingient and would sooner pop them off like cans at a firing range if they didn't require voters to empower them, easily takes advantage of our darlin's by feeding them propoganda such as :
"The earth is our oyster, our everlasting oyster"
"polar bears are not a currently threatened species"
"God is on our side"
"U-S-A, U-S-A"
"The Rich are on our side (give them tax breaks and privatize the world, better that we own air and sell it to you than to let it just float away)"
"the World community needs U-S-A! as a sort-of global police force. See, you can live the ultimate redneck fantasy and shoot big guns at evil-doers in the name of our great nation (actually, this is all just to further private business ventures and to squash any foreign nation's attempt at giving Right-Wing privateers a choke hold.... oh, never-you-mind! it's a gaiiiiime!!!)"
etc,etc.
i have to go, i'm busy.

bleh

from the washington post:
Another great idea from Bush

How long are the idiots of the world going to twist the word of the late great Jesus Christ (I am not Christian, but have always admired his story) and insist on moronic ideas such as an embryo's right to life in order to increase the human population on this planet? God! I wish the world would just stop having fucking babies and stop buying cars for just ONE YEAR!!
AHHH!!!

Humans FUCKING SUCK!! WEAK SAUCE!!!
EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!

A Million Shoppers

Thank you Curbed.com and Gowanuslounge.blogspot.com for alerting me to the following image:

first of all, is that leila & hayley in black back there? the two horsewomen of the apocalypse... I offer, for humor's sake, an alternate rendering:

Wow. I’m floored. I’ve seen a lot of shit regarding Williamsburg development in the recent past, but this tops it all.

In the course of 3-1/2 years in New York, I have lived in Jackson Heights, Williamsburg, Bushwick, and Crown Heights. Now, I’m a newcomer to NYC, I can’t claim any cred for being here for very long, or being from the area. I’m an outsider. I know that writing an entry like this is generally a controversial move for someone like me – that is, if my blog were well-read by locals. Being that it’s not, and you, dear reader, probably both know me well and are not from NYC either, I shall continue wading through this murky water.

I hopped freight trains to NYC from Florida in 2001 with my buddy. So NYC was the culmination of an amazing journey for a young man of 22. all the rules changed, everything I knew about society, architecture, urban planning, culture, day to day life, social networking, politics, education, communities – everything was dramatically different here in the big city… but I’ve mentioned that before…

I am currently reading Devil in the White City by Erik Larson. Some of the terrifyingly beautiful descriptions of turn-of-the-century Chicago recall what I felt after a few visits to NYC. I immediately thought that I had found a place whose mysteriousness and sublimity were magnetic & made sense to me, a place whose mechanics, relics, and social & architectural history were worth investigating, if not protecting.

As it turns out, I fell in love with a big gritty machine already in the midst of a great transition, and what I saw was only the tip of an iceberg that had already melted significantly.

So when I say to you that I am appalled at all the development that’s going on in the little neighborhoods I’ve lived in since moving here, I realize that it’s a “natural” real estate trend. It’s what makes us nomads.

I just can’t help but feel the sadness and anger that the above image implies. What the fuck are people thinking? And if I feel so invested and personally attacked by this rendering, I can only imagine how others who have made Brooklyn their home and feel inspired by this place, feel about it. again, wow.

But I represent a very small slice of the demographic pie. Barely visible, I imagine. And what’s more, I feel like new Yorkers in general represent a similarly small national slice of pie. Now you have representatives from the big meaty national pie imposing suburban ideas into outer-borough urban environments. Ikeas are going up. Beautifully scaled building fabrics are being raped by condominiums that dwarf their predecessors, both in height and market value. Oh, and they also all suck in terms of design, but that’s a given, sadly.

So when I see this rendering, my only solace is in the possibility that those two gothy (albeit condo-goth) ladies in the background are packing Uzis in their shopping bags, and they’re about to Matrix-bank-scene (that’s a verb) everyone else in sight. I’m sorry, mothers of the earth, but in this dystopian state my brain wants to see the woman in the salmon explode. And what’s with joe-condo in the blue strutting his shit-eating grin next to her? One slow & painful, please.

Unfortunately, those gothy-chics are just walking to the L train, which – and this goes out to CURBED commentators – is at this point working flawlessly because the money and the REAL people have finally moved in, the movers and shakers, the computer-generated doll-eyed wastoids who will eat this borough alive. They have jobs in the city, most likely because they’ve gotta pay high rents to live in those condos.

But it happens everywhere. It starts at a point when most folks are afraid to walk around at night, in places where it’s not safe to have a family, places that are commercially barren. Cheap rents attract parasites like myself, who enjoy the fringes of big cities because of the lower rent and the proximity to the beating heart of that tastey ol’ magnetic sublime. Soon, buzz is created, and you get your first brunch restaurants next to the pioneering coffee shops and bodegas. Next thing you know, you feel safe walking around with cash at 2am after drinking at the local bars or clubs, and by that time, plans for the condos have already been drawn. Sprawl hits home, as it did for the classes you and your friends replaced. Etc, etc

But what happens next? Can we rely on past models of different areas? Can we look back and see the same thing happening in the exact same area under the cloak of a couple decades? Are other adventure seekers snarking at my bitching while reading their laptops in secret cracks and loopholes in the belly of the beast? Is New York really dead?

No, it’s quite alive. This cycle is all the evidence that I need. Cities undulate at frequencies only giant sloths who live hundreds of years can comfortably read. We ants are restless, and don’t have time to wait for the next supernova. So what’s in store?

I know f’sho I’ll be making some monstrous drawings as a result.

PROPS ~

http://curbed.com/archives/2008/02/05/gateway_to_williamsburg_meets_kelloggs_diner.php

http://gowanuslounge.blogspot.com/2008/02/big-box-gateway-to-williamsburg-coming.html#links

Thank to Ms. Brain, Messenger's sexiest correspondant, for the following heads-up~
"According to a report by the scientific committee of the International Whaling Commission, one of the world's leading bodies of whale biologists, the evidence linking sonar to a series of whale strandings in recent years is "very convincing and appears overwhelming." Despite the broad scientific consensus that military active sonar kills whales, the use of this deadly sonar in the world's oceans is spreading.
An NRDC-led coalition of wildlife advocates succeeded in restricting the U.S. Navy's use of a powerful active sonar system known as SURTASS LFA in 2003. But the fight is hardly over; other nations are developing LFA-type systems of their own, and sonar testing using mid-frequency sonar systems, which have been implicated in numerous strandings of whales worldwide, continues unabated, putting marine mammals and fisheries at risk. And the Bush administration is now appealing the legal victory that compelled the Navy into compromise."

read more : http://www.nrdc.org/wildlife/marine/sonar.asp

that's sad. do we really need LFA in 75% of the world's oceans? what kind of dumbass thinks "that's a great idear."i mean, i'd rather be undermined by international terrorists in submarines than kill a bunch of whales and be nationally secure.my - and my country's - "security" is simply not worth the death of thousands of whales, and anyone who doesn't sign this declaration with me, i will kill you, so you die anyway. in fact, the deploration of whale-killing LFA's might be grounds for going to war in the first place.United States, you'd better pray to your shallow, withering gawd that i never become a nation capable of attacking your navy. I'll fund the Farley Mowat on your ass, bitchez. give a call-up-a Cap'n Nemo, right? *click* shiiieeeeeet.

sfacchinata, dřina, raadanta, 骨折り仕事, harówka, изнурительная работа

i am experiencing all of the drudgery of new york city life and none of the perks.
fuck this shit.
fuck you, new york.
i'm outta here as soon as i can, i'm tired of the endless drain, i'm bandaging my wrists up and pulling out the IV. New York City, you may not have any more of my blood and guts and resources, you don't deserve it, you fucker.
you make me angry enough to sware on my blog everyday!
what kind of life is this?

Everything’s Wrong 101 (not without humor)

Everything’s Wrong 101 (not without humor)
By Matt Boyle


I can't wait to see my brother & mother this week. it means most of my immediate family will be together, and i'm a lucky one in this respect - we have a certain "energy" when we're all together that always seems to set me straight and make me feel alright.
Thinking about seeing my brother soon makes me think about my current 'way of life' up here in nyc, and how it's different from his... how it's different from the Florida lifestyle i gleefully left behind.
moving up here, and the subsequent juxtaposition of suburban FL to urban NY, has always been exciting and positive to me.

the low population density, land waste, water waste, cookie-cutter corporate architecture by regional chains and the resulting advertisement assault on the senses, the necessity for an automobile, paying for fuel + insurance for this automobile, the complete lack of cultural diversity, a dead art scene (well, it’s trying), a dead music scene (with the exception of a brave handful who are always at odds), no architectural cred whatsoever, and too many people in sandals – all of these things drove me away fired up and ready for something new.
I am perfectly comfortable living in the urban environment when it comes to high population density, but I have to admit there are mornings where I’ll back out of a packed subway car, shaking my head, insisting to the goofy sardines trying so hard to get to their crappy early jobs where they make slave wages in relation to the costs of living in the city that they are willing to physically push and shove one another in and out of trains that “this is no way to live.” The city is bulging, overflowing, growing annually. The public transit system has long begun to lag behind it’s demand. And speaking of this demand, another thing I’ve come to notice and seriously dislike about new york city, a point most new Yorkers pride themselves on – is the inherent hard-work ethic that trumps all basic human needs. Who cares to work so hard, and why? Sigh…. I feel like a teenager again, the one who indulges in running scenarios like “if everyone stopped paying rent, what could they do? If everyone stopped working, what could they do?”
Us vs. them, etc, etc.
I still have it in me, just like the weeks before I moved here, roaring in the anti-republican national convention critical mass bicycle ride, a living answer to the question “what if we all (thousands strong) rode bikes through manhattan for hours, blocking traffic, causing chaos, having the time of our lives, voicing our protest, making our statement… what could they do?” they did a lot, but they couldn’t wipe the wide smile from my face. I still smile when I think of that night.
Well, I never done that in florida!

As this becomes a point-by-point, we move on to land waste. Well, a lot can be said in any situation, this is a tough one. There are a lot of big buildings out here, and although they may be of some grand architectural significance, they serve the same purpose as the monuments to pure evil I oft loathed in florida. Three years ago, I’d have been a big advocate of vertical growth over large sprawling fertilized lawns that are generally off limits to the public. Now I’m just dissatisfied with both solutions, and even more invested ideologically in the future of urban planning. I will say this - another ‘win’ for the new york beast – here, in the hyper-urban condition, you find life resilient, creative, and illegal. Old factory buildings, deserted of their original program so some company can save money with slave labor overseas, become squats for brave anarchists and the homeless. From a design standpoint, developers take these spaces and create residential-ready renovations that offer a little more comfort (complete with commercial lease) and often end up with interesting new spaces, for interesting new ways to define one’s “home” or studio. I have experienced this first hand, and although the skyrocketing housing costs in (former) artist-friendly areas pushed me out, it works. These interesting conditions can only occur in former seats of industry, and are a result of creative-minded folk who’d rather work within the existing skeletal structure of older buildings than bulldoze & trash tons and tons of material bound for landfills. This is a sort of parasitic / recycling form of architecture, which I have ALWAYS – since the days of my design classes in architecture school in florida – been chiefly interested in. alas, I am a big fan of Lebbeus Woods. (more points for new york – I actually met professor Woods and attended a couple of his critiques of his Cooper Union students! In florida, the closest I’d get to this would be in the lonely UF arts & architecture library shelves under ‘W’)

Water waste.. errr… not sure where I was going with this, but hey! I don’t have to witness first-hand the watering of people’s vast untapped green lawns that serve little to no community purpose. I’m sure nyc is wasting more water, because of its population and infrastructure, than anywhere in florida, but I’d be willing to bet that the amount of water used/wasted PER PERSON in florida is MUCH greater than that of new york.

Cookie cutter corporate architecture!!!! Oh, here we go. I recently got caught up in a conversation at work trying to explain some of my most basic political viewpoints (big mistake) only to find that I had to continuously dumb-down my argument as it fell on deaf ears. I eventually turned to this simple perspective: design & diversity.
There are so many more important / pressing issues concerning the corporate takeover of the global community at the moment, but a nice gateway drug for those who are mildly conservative and zombified by placating television programs and deficient news coverage every night is an argument for good design vs. cheap & efficient design. We can weave (or crochet) this into anything we want to make, and take it all the way to the top (as in why we should overthrow the government and split the united states into a smaller union of self-governing countries) if we want to.

Ok. Florida is still, by most city-standards, a ripe flatland awaiting new architecture and urban planning design strategies, desperately failing in its current state. ***NOTE – by ‘new strategies’ I insist this could be interpreted as ‘no further development’ / ‘anti-development’*** big businesses sit on ‘industrial parks’ with fountains and planned landscaping that offer workers near windows a view of LIES. Wake up, dickhead! You can’t have natural florida everglades and the DANKA corporate headquarters in the same fucking fenced in park. Fuck you.
Smaller national chain businesses have fuckitects design very cheap, very specialized, very efficient cookie-cutter buildings (Starbucks, Eckerd, CVS, Duane Reade, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, SAMS Club, Best Buy, Barnes N’ Noble, to name a few) that all look the same, no matter where you go. This is part of the success of super-BRANDING, logos run-amok, and cheap design. I could be in Morocco, Vietnam, Saint Petersburg, or Manhattan – it doesn’t matter where you are, or what buildings these chains sit next to. They all look the same. This helps consumers identify services more quickly on the street, and brainwashes people into thinking that this particular company, with its logo all over your city, and wiped all over your shit, is the end-all be-all of parties offering these goods or services, and this creates consumer loyalty. This also creates, in addition to excessive landscaping, deconstruction + reconstruction (although reconstruction usually takes about 2-3 days [“wow! Where’d that come from!”])a significant lack of regional diversity in design. The more national / global chain businesses there are in an area, the more the area appears to be an “anywhere, Earth” atrocity. For those of you who might not be following as to why this is a bad thing, let me simply state that I come from the school of thought that seeks to nurture regional differences in design – and in life… I mean, c’mon! do I really have to explain this!!? To the average American, you do. Cultural diversity - such as that found in design, art, music, cuisine, morals, customs, smells, climates, languages, colors, sexual identity, temperatures, temperaments, beliefs, ideas, dreams, etc. - all serve to enrich our experience here on earth.

I believe that when a wal-mart store goes up in your neighborhood, history and culture are dying as a direct result. You will also, by participating in the activities encased in this disgusting eyesore, suffer headaches and eventual death from parking, waiting in long lines, and failing to enjoy the fruits of the labors of human history.
Wake up and smell the fuck.

Oh, and hey… What if all of the advertisements in the world that wreak havoc on the eyes and ears of zombie consumers and those who have not lost their senses were destroyed, or replaced with works of art or personal & communal expression? What if it wasn’t just an “ART-thing” and everyone could be involved in this process? What if it wasn’t even a process, but a way of life for communities, a way of communicating with no rules – more like story telling? Or is that what it is already? Are we so happy with this way of life that we are content to paint the streets red with the blood of capitalism at every corner and signpost – oftentimes on our own bodies and homes?
Is this the message we are sending to one another? Is this the visual history we are currently painting – the history of capitalism, and how we loved and supported it… how we all lived crazy busy lives for the sake of hierarchies, war, and capital gain… I am a member of this community. My voice counts. I don’t like this, and my visual surroundings don’t reflect the way I see life. I’m not some ‘radical liberal freak’, either. I am a product of this thriving / dying system. You made me, and will continue to make me. I am inevitable, and I will not stop until some things begin to change.

On the automobile – let’s face it, cars run on blood. oil/gas/fossil fuels are the subject of war. They represent the biggest, most powerful businesses in the world, and these businesses are run by some of the most dangerously greedy and careless individuals in the world. By driving a car, you support this industry, which is why people have been dying for years, the cause of great wars, and the source of power for a privileged, dangerous few. Stop driving immediately. Stop flying planes. Sound ridiculous? Let’s build magnetic trains. Let’s fund engineers to design new human-powered methods of transportation, let’s design them ourselves, let’s address the need for business travel, let’s address the need for business, let’s talk talk talk.
Let us change things. Whew. So I sold my car before coming to new york city. I use an electric train to get around, if I’m not on my bicycle. I know that the trains get electricity from fossil fuel-powered plants, but let’s face it – cars suck at the scale they are currently used at in the world.

I like new york city because of the population diversity. I grew up in florida, in a city that is 68.6% ‘white.’ Not too bad, but considering the geographical racial divide in this city, it felt more like 85%. I live in brooklyn now, where the white percentage of the population is 41.2%, I have also lived in queens, where it’s 44.1%. even in manhattan where the percentage is 54.4%, the actual geographic mix of race is much greater in new york city, or in any big thriving city, for that matter. In my hometown, there really was a “black” part of town. The social divide was clear, and it mirrored the economic divide. This actually made the ‘south side’ of saint Petersburg (68.6%W) far more dangerous than the crown heights section of Brooklyn (41.2%W) I currently live in. when you segregate - socially, economically, racially – you send a message, you create a divide in community, and you create ill feelings.
Businesses refrain from certain areas because of prejudice and economy, and commercial strips in these areas die as you lose certain components of ‘leisure commerce.’
Now I’m getting into areas that would be interesting to discuss in both areas – both a more segregated suburban community and a dense urban city. But for now, let’s just say I prefer to live in a diverse community, on all levels.
Variety is the spice of life.

Art in florida is pretty much fish, pelicans, scenery, and whatever else the boring, aging snowbirds want to spend money on. Although things are looking up in my hometown thanks to a few establishments… I mean, really, this is obvious. New york city is the (self-proclaimed) center of the art world. now, you can take that statement and suck it, big deal. I don’t give a fuck, I’ll make my art anywhere. But there are a lot of artists in nyc, and when you have that many people around with all that creative energy, things pop up here and there, and you start to feed off of that energy. There is another edge to this blade, and you can get lost in the shear number of ‘creative’ types arting and farting all over the gaddamned place… I know I’m lost myself, but for the three years I’ve lived here, I sure have soaked up a lot of amazing shit. And it inspires one to be immersed in an environment that simply cares about the arts as much as new york city does. I’ll take that sentiment along with a lot of other positive things with me if/when I leave this shit hole.
Yay nyc!

As far as music goes – much more so than art, at least in my life – you need that energy. You need an audience, you need collaborators, and you like finding people who come from different places and are willing to try new things. Hello, new york. I’ve been in bands in florida all my life, but here, everywhere I turn there’s someone to make music with – and I’m not talking about some cover-band dickass douche-bag, or some guitar wanker dickass douche-bag fuck (I’ve heard my fair share). You meet them (the good ones)everywhere, they’re at your job, they’re in the subway station, they’re at the park, they carry their instruments to work. Pretty soon you’re playing in a band in a giant church and you feel like you’re in a moment in your life that you’ll never forget, and you’re old enough to enjoy it for what it is, all because of the energy and draw to the new york art and music scene.
Yay nyc!

Well, I feel like I’ve talked enough about urban vs. suburban architecture for one blog, and as for people in sandals? Welcome to winter, fuck-ass. Fuck you.
More later.
♥

The Secret to Happiness (the art of complaining)

I have never felt better, i've often concluded, in the physical and subsequent mental sense, than i did when i was a messenger.
After a few months of trotting around the city at a needlessly quickened pace, dodging nyc pedestrians and efficient trajectories alike with vigor and expertise, i began to notice a difference in my physiology, my moods, my sleep patterns, and my appetite. any of you who have spoken to me in the past 6 months have heard this already, but it bears repeating.
i calculated that i must have been walking around 20-30 miles per day. i ate three big meals and stuff in between. i slept deeply from the moment i laid my head on the pillow to the moment my alarm would go off in the morning. i experienced physical exhaustion at the end of every day, which translated to a state of bliss. my appetite was huge, my digestive system worked like a well-oiled machine (heh).
perhaps my greatest piece of evidence was that during this time, i was in serious debt to my friend, i was very lonely, over-worked (i also had a restaurant job by night), and under played - i seldom went out or saw my friends... sounds like a recipe for disater.
but i was fine. i felt great. perhaps it was simply an effective blinder from whatever else was going on at the time.
but ever since i left that job and began my desky office job, i've been dreaming of returning. it's romantic to me. i video taped everything, everywhere i went. i often slipped into cathedrals and meditated. i would stretch my delivery times to the limit, cut through parks, visit friends for lunch, take N train trips over the Manhattan bridge to tape the river...
i mean, the more i think about it, the more i miss what i had. i was paid to wander one of the most amazing cities in the world.
and even though i am now paid 50% more to do things like write this blog and read the news, i often consider taking the pay cut and returning to the position. i held the messenger job during the dead of winter, and owed much of my success to my infamous ski pants, which i took great pride in... especially when i entered an interior space and had the opportunity to take my pants off in front of complete strangers. if i were to take the messenger job again, i think i would do so when the winter hits. when i switched jobs and hung the pants up in my closet i felt like i was retiring a superhero cape.
when i bring this issue up to my friends and loved ones, they often encourage me to try to get my old job back. it seems like a no-brainer; take the pay cut and stop talking about how great being a messenger was, if you love it so much, if the health benefits were so great, than isn't that enough?
the answer to this question is part of an even bigger issue, which is where the meat of this blog entry lies...

I am trying to save some money up, preferably more than i've ever held in a bank account before, to prepare for the next phase of my life, where i propose returning to school to get my Master's degree in fine arts. In the past few years i have written a number of passionate and dumbed-down rants about my hatred for life in new york. i am always on the fence, rocking back and forth between loving it up here and despising my quality of life since leaving florida. these rants have never concluded with a desire to return to florida, but they have left me hungry for leaving New York. One of the big reasons is that i feel like i have no time for nurturing my passions. rent is so high that we are forced to work long hours, the commutes are so long... the result is a scramble to enjoy a few things on the weekends. this is terrible, stupid, and will not do. sorry if i sound like a baby, but i have things i want to do in life, places i want to go, and i'll do it wearing rags and stoing away on ships if i have to.
i started thinking that if i went back to school, i would not only have the time to focus on what i want to do, i'd have dedicated professors devoting time to me, and i'd be connected to the industry that might someday support me. the financial strain troubles me a bit, but i'd rather be a failed and impoverished artist than a mildly successful and disgruntled shipping coordinator.
I've thought of just taking out a huge loan, paying for school and not working much, if at all, and just living the dream in NYC while i'm here.i didn't come here to work my ass off at dead-end jobs. i did that in florida. i came here in an effort to immerse myself in a world that might embrace what i love to do, extending tethers out in all directions, holding on to the idea that one might eventually grab hold to something with a charge. isn't that why every dreamer comes to nyc?
so far i have these truths to hold on to:
doing the art thing independently/non-academically while working a full-time job to support myself is not working for me.
debt is not something that i fear enough to stay completely away from.
a rigorous physical routine is essential to general happiness and well being.
the more money i make, the more money i spend. my bank account doesn't seem to grow in relation to my income.
i have spent three years in new york this month. i feel like i am at square one. many times i feel like moving back to florida and re-grouping, planning another 'push' in another place. as reliable as the wonderful distraction of NYC is in making me smile from time to time, i can rely equally on the return of my anxiety and discontent.
I was all geared up to start this new plan when i started researching grad schools, and reading their application requirements.
i felt a little stupid when reality bit me in the ass... i have done practically no new work in the past year. aside from sketchbooks, which are a strong point for me, i have made one sculpture. no new paintings, significant drawings, and i never completed a series of boats like i had planned to. i really don't have the time. the schools i want to apply to require recent work in submission portfolios, preferably from the previous year.
all of this means that i have a lot of work to do, if i want to apply to school for Fall 2008.
thinking about waiting until 2009 is a downer. So i have decided to get on it, and if i don't make my deadlines, then at least i'll have a relevant, updated portfolio ready to go for 2009.
as far as everything else goes, i have relocated and lowered my monthly rent, which helps immensely. i feel a little more in control of my life, and i love my new apartment.
i'm sick of feeling like every moment has to count up here, too. that's definitely a new yorkism that can suck it. i like to relax.
i don't give a shit about how hard people work up here. that doesn't sound like fun to me.
whatever.
'till next time,
~m
p.s. read plasticblog, it's good.